Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Say No to Cheap Hair Cuts

(or Why Not to Visit a Beauty School While Pregnant)

Since it's now been exactly two weeks since I skipped my lunch break so I could enjoy a nice afternoon at the Aveda Institute of Denver, I feel justified in posting about my frustrations.

Two Tuesdays ago, I structured my day so I could go spend a relaxing hour and a half at the Aveda Institute a couple blocks away from my office for a much-needed haircut. The last time (and only time) I got my hair cut here in Denver, I found a Groupon for a $19 haircut at an Aveda salon. Due to a fussy customer (not me) my stylist got switched at the last moment. No matter - I loved my stylist and ended up somehow not actually getting charged! It was a great experience.

So, this year, when it came time for my once-yearly haircut (newlyweds - don't let that be your story. Get your hair cut more than 1x a year), I booked a time at the Aveda Institute. The hip girls there would surely be able to give me something fresh and fun for summer/motherhood/a change, right? Wrong. So, here are my reasons why, if you are pregnant, you should definitely not go to the Aveda Institute. Just fork up another $15-$20 bucks and go to a licensed stylist.

1) They tell you your appointment will take an hour and a 15 minutes. When you arrive, they tell you it may be closer to and hour and a half. What they don't tell you is 2.5 hours after your scheduled appointment time you will be finally walking out the door. This is unfortunate for pregnant women because A) We can't get comfortable in any position for more than 15 minutes, much less sit in a salon chair for TWO AND A HALF HOURS with no ability to shift positions, walk around, put our feet up, etc. It's a huge, numb butt waiting to happen. Ask me how I know.
2) This particular institute is also not conducive to pregnant women or anyone with small bladders because the bathroom is on an entirely different floor! I mean, I understand not having one super convenient, but in the basement requiring a five-minute walk? Pregnant or not - if you have a bladder you're SOL if you happen to need to pee at any point during your 2.5 hour hair ordeal (especially after drinking the proffered tea or water!!). Bladders - beware. Ask me how I know.
3) I get it - it's a school. I don't expect perfection, or to feel like a bombshell when I leave, but seriously? This was not a good hair cut by any stretch of the imagination. My sweet little stylist who shall remain nameless - When I ask for no hair to be too short to go behind my ears, I actually mean that. I DON'T mean long, awkward, choppy "bangs" that will take AT LEAST 2+ weeks to grow long enough to tuck behind my ears (ask me how I know.) And when I say I don't want bangs, I just want some layers that will fall around my face, I also mean I don't want bangs. And when I ask for a straight cut around the bottom without layers, it would be really nice if I didn't have to go home and cut my hair because there are random clumps that are longer than the rest....This is especially unfortunate for pregnant women because we often don't feel beautiful at this stage of the game. We feel frumpy and bloated and unsure in our bodies. Personally, I don't feel like Heidi Klum needing a trim. I feel more like Elizabeth Banks' character in "What To Expect" when she says she doesn't have a glow. So, to spend 2.5 hours getting an ugly haircut that looks like a little boy who was attacked by mama's scissors is a liiiiiitle disheartening. I mean, I appreciate the scalp massage, but if I have to wear my hair pinned a certain way for at least two weeks so I don't cry at the shortness or choppiness of it - there might be a hair issue (or a self esteem issue, but that's neither here nor there).

So there you have it: My Top 3 Reasons to Say No To Cheap Hair Cuts (Especially While Pregnant).

1) Numb butt
2) Bladder abuse
3) Ugly confirmations

Now, I'm in that awkward waiting-till-it-grows-out-enough-to-go-to-a-real-stylist-to-fix-it phase. Any of my Denver friends have recommendations? I wish I learned my lesson buuuuuut....since I already spent money on this hair cut - a good deal is even better. Anyone?