Traditions

I might become one of those people I scoffed at. One of those people who begins decorating and celebrating Christmas before Thanksgiving has come and gone. Oh, the bittersweet irony.

In the past, I was always adamant that each holiday had it’s time, and not to rush Christmas. Trees were for putting up AFTER Thanksgiving, carols were to be sung in December (although January 1^st was acceptable) and gifts were to be bought Christmas Eve. You know – all the same rules everyone holds to, right?

This year though, with a baby girl in tow and a beautiful home of our own to decorate, the itch for Christmas is hitting MUCH earlier than ever before. So much so, that as I’ve been laid up in bed this week, I have been all over Pinterest like spit-up on a newborn, i.e., a lot. Visions of craft days with Selah fill my head.

And yet, I’m already cautioning myself against burnout. Maybe it’s from not feeling 100% lately, but I’m already a little weary and nothing but anticipation has begun! It’s been blogged to death, but Pinterest really can set some ridiculously high expectations, especially this time of year. So as I’m thinking through things I want to do and establish, I want to be mindful of making wise choices on how we spend our money, time and energy. One thing I’ve kind of prided myself on is establishing intentional traditions for our family and making intentional memories, not just during Christmas, but throughout the year.

We always buy a coffee mug from big trips or places we’ve lived. We started a family-portrait-in-front-of-a-cornfield tradition this year. (Now) We always take a picture on our anniversary, holding a picture from our last anniversary (and we always take a trip on our anniversary). We always make several pots of various soups and have a Harry Potter marathon the whole week of Thanksgiving (one of our favorite traditions!!). I’m going to start a new tradition this year for Christmas for Adrian, to remind him he’s my first priority. So my question is this: What traditions do you recommend?

Obviously there are some big gaping holes in our traditions. Journalist that I am, I like to commemorate with words and pictures. I need some traditions to just ENJOY. We need some traditions to focus us on Jesus and not on ourselves. We also need some Christmas traditions – a meal to bake, an ornament to make, a picture to take…you get the idea. So, friends – hit me with your best shot. Fire away.

What traditions have you found especially meaningful for your family or yourself? What traditions help you draw close to Jesus? What traditions are just great memories from Christmas or whenever that we should consider implementing? Ready….GO.

Past, Present and Future

It's amazing when I look back and think about life a year ago. So much is different, and it all seems like a whirlwind, but a year is a long time, right?

This week last year:
-I quit at Ashford and started working for Cushman & Wakefield. It was like coming out of a fog and realizing I could enjoy work again.
-We celebrated 2.5 years of marriage and 3 years since getting engaged.
-I continued questioning our future, starting a family and setting down roots.

This week this year:
-I celebrated being at my job a year, although it wasn't official since I started with a recruiter and not directly with C&W.
-We celebrated 3.5 years of marriage yesterday and 4 years since getting engaged. Crazy how long ago that seems!
-We celebrated 3 weeks of home ownership and being 23 weeks along with our first baby. This morning we laid in bed and Adrian felt the baby clearly kicking for a while. I'm really glad to be able to share the physical effects with him,especially since this week brought lots of discussions about how my body is changing due to pregnancy.

Even though a lot of the uncertainty of last year has faded, (we've decided God has called us to Denver for the long-term, leading us to buy a house and begin our family here), as always, a whole new set of uncertainty has cropped up. What does life look like in 4 months? Will I be a good mom? I know nothing about babies. How will I cope with all the emotions? Will our house ever be settled and feel like home? Will I always struggle with discontentment about something? I KNOW the Lord is faithful and provides. Sometimes, as an emotional person, it's hard for me to feel it though, even in the face of so much evidence. I worry and I fret and wonder about the future, but try to trust God for my home, my security, my mental health and my family.

The VanderBean Chronicles

Maybe you've seen that meme (how the heck is that pronounced?!) where the girl says she doesn't feel 30. She feels 20, but then she hangs out with 20 year olds and realized she's 30. That kind of describes where I'm at right now.

I don't feel like I'm a grown-up, married, home-owning, future parent. I feel like I'm fresh out of college with a world of possibilities awaiting me. Then, I hang out with people that ARE fresh out of college with a world of possibilities and I'm reminded that I'm further from that time period than I realize - and that's OK. In fact, I kind of like it. Possibilities freak me out. When the world is your oyster and up to you to choose, there's a ton of pressure to make certain decisions or be a certain person and that stresses me out. I love the stability the Lord has built into my life, and I love our community here in Denver, our house, and the little one God is growing inside of me. Such big life things still freak me out, but I'm comforted knowing that all of these changes that are happening are doing so under God's loving guidance and not because I'm forcing them. It's kind of a miracle I got to this stage of life and now I'm trying to just enjoy the ride :)

Speaking of miracles, we saw our little VanderBean today - live and in living color! Our 20-week ultrasound (which actually fell at 21 weeks - over halfway there!) was today, and it was absolutely crazy to see AND feel our baby!

All is progressing normally and on schedule, although the tech did say the baby's arms and legs are measuring long for it's age. Shocker. Have you seen my husband?! As the tech was moving around and showing us a good strong spine and tiny little fists, I started to feel a sharp pain on my right side and asked her to see what was happening there. Sure enough, VanderBean was kicking up a storm at that moment and we caught it on the ultrasound :) It was so cool to feel something and to be able to see exactly what was happening that was causing that feeling! Once that happened, Adrian put his hand on my stomach in hopes of feeling baby moving, but the tech said it might be a couple more weeks before that happens.

With the knowledge of baby's impending arrival (still on track for mid-August) comes a sense of urgency to get everything settled in the house before little one arrives or before my body becomes completely foreign to me. Call it nesting, call it obsession with our home, but either way - we realized this weekend there is definitely a limit to how much I can and should do right now. I'm trying to find the balance of being productive, but also resting in the Lord's provision and knowing that he provided the house and he will make it a home - whether or not it's painted the way I want or if the furniture is exactly where I want it to be.

A Relocated VanderHouse :)

Well - we have been home owners for exactly a week now!! A lot has happened since I last blogged, but I want to - in the essence of documentation - share a little of the process.

The house, right before it became ours!

The week leading up to closing was a bit of a nightmare. We had been surprised at how smoothly everything had gone up until that point, and Tuesday night (scheduled to close the following Wednesday), everything fell apart. I won't go into all the details, but multiple times, we were ready to walk away. To say it was a loooong week would be an understatement. Each hour between Tuesday night and closing crawled by and was filled with doubts of whether or not we'd actually make it to closing, or whether we should just walk away and call it a learning experience.

Between Tuesday and Friday, we closed the door on the house (figuratively, obviously, since we didn't own it) several times, and I prepared myself to walk away. I was so thankful for all the Lord had taught us about faith and trusting him through the process, but it seemed like it was a definite "no" for the first time, and I had been praying God would make it clearly a yes or no.

The weekend before our scheduled closing was an emotional roller coaster. I wanted to get off the ride and throw up. I wanted to walk away because I was pissed. I wanted to hang on because I loved the house. I wanted to prove a point that "Mama didn't raise no fool," and yet I felt torn because we believed we weren't being foolish, instead relying on God's leading and provision for THIS house. After talking about it and praying about it (it sounds trite, maybe, but it was very much something we needed to pray about), we decided to tentatively move forward and somehow come up with what we needed to get the house. If God had called us to this house 5 weeks prior, had that changed? No, it hadn't. The new circumstances hadn't caught God by surprise, so we moved forward.

Benny is LOVING his new backyard :)

Once again the Lord provided, this time in a very tangible way through our church family. We were mightily provided for, in order that we might see and recognize God's faithfulness and goodness. I can't even begin to tell you what that has done to our hearts. One night, we sat and cried and prayed with friends. We thanked God for his incredible care and for our church family that cared for us as Jesus does. In a very real way, we experienced God's hand working through the situation and we are so immensely, immensely grateful. To those who prayed and provided (you know who you are), we love you so much and praise God for you. Thank you for demonstrating God's faithfulness through your sacrifices.

Fast forward to Thursday, and although it was a day late (and several dollars shorter!), we walked into an office, signed some papers, met the amazing Mortgage Mike and walked out as homeowners. It was surreal. Adrian had been packing a moving truck ALL DAY with a friend and when we got back to our apartment, we found there had been others who had volunteered to come keep packing while we closed. I drove my car to our new house and was met by friends who had come to help us unload everything into the house. By the time Adrian and his mom showed up with the truck - we had a porchful of friends waiting to get everything moved in. All told, there were around 15 people who gave time and energy to help this pregnant lady and her exhausted husband start a new chapter by moving all our worldly possessions. We are SO blessed by you, friends.

Sunset out the front window Wednesday night

I cannot begin to tell you how humbled, and awestruck, and thankful, and excited we are by all God has done in the last week and a half in our lives through our church and friends. It has been a long and (still) exhausting week of trying to unpack and settle in and get life organized, but I have every confidence that the Lord who cares enough to give us a house will care enough to make it a home :)

Emotional stretching feels worse than physical stretching

For the last several weeks at church, we have been studying through the book of John in a series on belief. Concurrently, we've also been in the midst of our Roots campaign, which is challenging us to examine how God would have us put down roots and commit so that Summit can be a church that exists in downtown Denver for multiple generations. (PS - That is practically unheard of.)

Now, let's remember that over the last several weeks I have also been pregnant (thinking about future generations) and in the midst of buying a house (putting down roots in the city). Well, everything culminated last night and today in a big, pregnant, weepy mess.

Although Adrian is on staff at church, we were slackers who waited until last night to turn in our commitment card. Over the course of this house-buying process, we have had to learn to trust the Lord daily all over again. Although he has proved himself SO OFTEN, especially since we began taking leaps of faith like quitting jobs and moving to Denver, it's been a daily process of believing he wants us in this house and believing he'll provide for that to happen. Some of you may know that the house we're buying scares us a little financially. We're not being foolhardy, it's just stretching us beyond ourselves and our normal "We got this" attitude. We agreed before we put in an offer that we wanted this house to be a place that would bring God glory, both through the process and through the provision of it.

So far, each day, he has shown up big-time and confirmed moving forward on the house. It started with someone willing to partner with us to see the Gospel go forward in the city. It kept going with a clean inspection on the house with nothing major - a huge feat for a 100+ year old house! Then, one huge piece of the puzzle, down payment money, came together last week, totally outside our control.

But last night, as we're trying to figure out what our commitment to the Summit financially will look like, I froze. All those ways the Lord had already provided and confirmed moving forward flew out of my mind as Adrian gave me a number he thought we should contribute. I freaked out a little - not gonna lie. Just when it seemed we were getting our ducks in a row and pulling together everything we need to make this house happen, God challenged me to let go of my control, my plan, my money and my trust in myself.

So, with many tears and much trepidation (on my part) we committed to give in a way that freaks me out. Fast forward to this morning and my performance review. Totally outside of my radar, God provided through a bonus and a raise that was so unexpected, I hadn't even been looking for it! Ten minutes later, Adrian delivers the news that our apartment complex, which had every right to a month's rent for breaking our lease, wasn't going to charge us a thing! Those two things combine to more than double what we gave.

PLEASE HEAR THIS: This isn't some kind of "what goes around comes around" message or an endorsement of karma. Far from it. Do I think I would have still gotten a raise and we would have been let out of our lease even without commiting to give sacrifically last night? Absolutely. God is not vindictive nor trite. It wasn't a test of trust that since we passed, he gave us more money. Instead, it was another opportunity for us to demonstrate practically the belief we have in his goodness - and then a very real and clear demonstration of that goodness. Last night, God taught me about trusting, not only in his provision, but in Adrian's leadership of our family. Even without today's events, God would still be God. He would still be trustworthy, and letting my husband lead in generosity would still be a good thing. However, coupled with today, it's such a clear picture of how Jesus desires to bless us - first in himself and his gift of salvation, and then in the little gifts he gives us because he loves us.

If you are reading this and you don't know Jesus, congratulations on making it to this point :) This is a long blog post with lots of churchy language, but know this - the Lord is good. He is good because he gave us himself when we deserved wrath, and he is continually willing to show his goodness, even so I can have a clar-foot tub :)

Welcome

There's a song that apparently was originally done by Nina Simone, but in my mind, I hear it done by the Pussycat Dolls. Call me crazy or a product of my culture - either way, the lyrics are the same and they still apply.

"It's a new dawn. It's a new day. It's a new life for me...And I'm feelin good."

Many of you who stumble upon this blog probably knew me pre-Denver. Maybe we were college friends, or you knew me in NC and read my blog all about newlywed life. Maybe you're a new local friend, in which case, you probably don't know a ton about me.

Since my husband and I moved to Colorado nearly two years ago (wow!), I have virtually stopped blogging. Blame it on the lack of internet at the house, a busier life, or a desire to be more intentional in relationships, thus leading me to develop real community in person vs. over the internet, but it's been at least a year and a half since I blogged with any continuity. Things changed drastically in my life and I stopped writing. Now, things are about to change drastically again, and I hope to jump back into writing once again.

So, as Nina Simone/Nicole Scherzinger sang: It's a new life for me.

To catch you all up very briefly - we moved from North Carolina to Colorado on a wing and a prayer and a trust that the Lord had called us to this place for a purpose. We quit jobs, broke our lease and headed west for a grand adventure. Since that point, God has revealed himself and his provision for us time, and time, and time again. It's been an amazing journey.

And now - we are about to embark on another journey, or rather several journeys that all dovetail. This month, we will close on our first home in downtown Denver. Approximately 4.5 months after that, we will then become parents for the first time. Big changes on the horizon for the Vanderburgs. The VanderHouse (a real actual HOUSE!) will, hopefully, be a place where people can find refuge and respite in the Lord. Our little family, we pray, will be hospitable and generous with the gifts God has given us.

This new blog, then, is a way to chronicle God's provision of this house, this child, this calling and this life. It might be filled with bitter ranting about not being able to paint the walls the color I want. It might be filled with helpless weeping as I ask questions about what it looks like to care for a child. I hope it will be filled with stories of how God is growing us in love for one another and most of all - love for him.

So, feel free to read and keep up with us here at VanderHouse Happenings.