Today maaaay not be the best time to write to you, as I'm emotional and discouraged, but here goes nothing. On the other hand, maybe this was the last thing I needed to do before you arrive and now you'll come introduce yourself!
Your due date is this weekend and I have to say, you've shocked me with how stubbornly you're holding to that. I truly thought you would have joined us on the outside by now, but as I learned with your big sister, my mother's intuition apparently stinks. You've been consistently measuring 2 weeks ahead of schedule throughout this pregnancy. Today, you're measuring 2.5 weeks ahead. And yet you sit and wait, happily bouncing around inside me. Maybe you're built like your daddy, and that's why you're so long and gangly? You're sitting so close to the front of my belly that it's like watching a show many nights when you get to hopping. You like to roll, and punch, and stick little feet (or elbows or hands?) up and try and force my belly to stretch even more. Not happening, kiddo. I'm about as stretched as I care to be! Your active nature though is so reminiscent of your sister's that I worry you'll be as busy as she is. Where do you kids get your energy from?!
When I found out I was pregnant with you, it was a little surreal. Although I had been hoping for months, I was shocked when it actually happened. I went downstairs and told your daddy while he was getting ready for work, and we were both a little surprised. Very excited, but surprised! You traveled with us to Mexico a couple months in to celebrate our 5-year wedding anniversary. Everyone at the resort was so excited to learn about you. They were mostly the first people we told!
When the doctor did an ultrasound on you, there was a small abnormality that concerned her, so we got to see your face again in January when we did another ultrasound. You were/are just fine, but I was grateful to have looked at your sweet face again. And what a cute little potbelly you were rocking! In one of the ultrasounds, we saw you mimicking your big sis with your hands on the sides of your head.
Sweet baby, we love you. We have been anxiously awaiting your arrival and the chance to get to know you. You've been prayed for SO MUCH. Every night, we ask God to continue protecting you and providing for you. We ask him to draw you close to Himself so you may be spared the heartache of not walking with the Lord. We pray you know Jesus loves you and that you love him too. I pray you know that though you're our second child - you're not second-rate. As your mom, I've already fallen down on the job of trying to make things "equal" between you and your sister. Remember, equal isn't the goal. Knowing Jesus, mama and daddy love you is the goal! Your sister loves you too, so much. She often kisses my belly and hugs you and says "night night." She tries to share her milk and her toys with you. I know you'll fight, but we hope you love her and she loves you as much as Daddy and I love you both. We'll try not to compare you to her. Comparison is the thief of joy. You are uniquely you - fearfully and wonderfully made - and we love you because of who you are in Christ, not because of who you are in this family.
We can't wait to meet you. Are you another little lady (surprise?)? Or are you a little boy, as Daddy and I have thought for two pregnancies now? Will you be a busy child or more sweet and snuggly? Who are you, little VanderBean? Come out and meet the world! We're so anxious to know you and embark on many adventures together! Until then, may you grow in grace and know you are loved by those of us out here.
Love, Mama
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