A Year of Joy

Sometimes, in the middle of big life events, you feel the time pass second by second. It drags on and on and on, as if you were aware of the passage of every single second.

This is not one of those life events.

Engagement - six months, passed at a normal rate of speed. Pregnancy - nine months, passed at the speed of a snail. Selah's first year of life - twelve months, passed at supersonic speed.

I cannot seem to wrap my mind around the fact that a year ago, I was pushing and sweating and thinking I was about to meet my son. We chose not to find out gender beforehand, but I was SO SURE that when Adrian laid the baby on my chest, he would tell me, "It's a boy!" How wrong I was. How wrong, and how totally unprepared for the blessing of a baby girl.

After waffling back and forth for a day, trying to decide on a name, we named our tiny, skinny, long little lady Selah Grace. Literally, "Pause and reflect on God's grace." In the midst of the hospital busyness, the hectic-ness of trying to coordinate information and plans and details with everyone, the chaos of life with a newborn that became our new norm - we chose to pause and reflect on God's grace.

In the months since, life has only become more busy. There is Selah's schedule; there is A's work schedule; there is my "schedule" which is usually dependent upon the other two; there is the schedule of our commitments to jobs, church, family, friends. Far too often, Selah's name has become just that - a name, void of the richness of its meaning. So today, on Selah's 1st birthday, I want to intentionally pause and reflect on God's graces to us over the last year in our daughter.

Aside from the obvious beauty that she possesses (apparently we grow 'em big AND beautiful), Selah  has a beautiful spirit. She is funny, kind, generous and so friendly. Not a day passes that she doesn't gift us with a wave and a smile, a wide-open toothy kiss, just because. She has begun "social laughter" anytime someone else laughs. Although it's adorable, it's her belly laughs when she sees Benny or when Adrian chases her or when I surprise her by doing something weird, that are truly wonderful.

Selah has such a generous spirit, a gift that reminds me daily of how generous God the Father is to us. She loves to share her snacks with Ben (much to my chagrin) and if we ask, she will usually share her toys with us. She gives kisses freely and smiles with ease. This friendliness is one quality of hers that terrifies me, but that I absolutely love. Whenever we're in public, she is the first to wave and small and chatter to complete strangers in what I call the "the ministry of baby." I know she brightens people's days just by her sweet smile and friendly spirit. It scares the crap out of me. What if someone takes advantage of her friendliness? Will her innocence and openness with everyone be cause for heartache when she is rejected someday? I so long to protect her from the harsh realities and evil of the world, but I know I cannot.

Each night when we pray for her, we ask the Lord to protect her, not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. We pray that God is her strength and her refuge when her kindness and others' harshness causes her pain. As she grows, we ask the Lord to always give her that sweet, caring, sunny spirit that she possesses and to use it for the Gospel. Most of all, we beg the Lord to draw her close to Him at an early age, and to be her perfect Father all her life.

We are so, so, so, so, so grateful that we get to be Daddy and Mama to this precious blessing. I was terrified to become a mom, and God has been exceedingly gracious in letting me be mom to this one. She has made this parenting journey an absolute joy. Because she reflects Jesus (without even knowing it), she is a joy - our beautiful, kind-hearted, sweet, funny one-year old. My heart is full.